Hearts Unleashed Read online

  “Nonsense,” he said. “My truck would have made it just fine.”

  She laughed. “Your truck is old, just like you.” She came around the front of the car and smiled at him.

  He smiled back, but his hands balled into fists and he dug them into his thighs.

  “You okay?” She rubbed his shoulder. They gazed at the two-story home, painted a bright yellow color with cheerful white paneling.

  It seemed strange to him the house could look so relentlessly sunny, despite the grief and despair that must have existed within its silent walls.

  “I’m fine. I’m just surprised she agreed to see me. I haven’t visited her in a long time. The last time was back when Dirk was still alive, long before we deployed, and he told me before the mission she was mad about that.”

  “I think she’s going to be happy to see you. She wouldn’t have agreed to it otherwise.”

  Talking to Dirk’s mother had always felt easy, warm, and friendly. But now, the thought of speaking to her filled him with dread.

  “She’s got no reason to be nice to me after what happened,” he murmured. “She can’t forgive me for not taking care of her son.”

  Katie stood quietly, just letting him go on.

  He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know how I can possibly sit in her living room and talk to her about Dirk—not when it should’ve been me sitting there—”

  She stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Look. She’s there in the doorway, waving to you.”

  And so she was. He raised his hand to Mrs. McDonald.

  “John, are you ready?” Katie’s touch on his arm became more insistent.

  No. I’ll never be ready for this. But it was too late to slip away now. “Let’s go.”

  The two of them walked up the driveway, their shoes clipping on the pavement. By the time the door opened for them, he’d broken into a cold sweat.

  “Oh, I’m so glad to see you!” Mrs. McDonald gasped. “John! It’s been forever!”

  And Dirk’s mother wrapped him up in the tightest bear hug he had ever received in his life.

  “You still give the best hugs,” he murmured, as she squeezed his rib cage.

  “We grow ’em strong here in Kansas,” she laughed. She finally released him and turned her attention to Katie. “And who is this beautiful young lady?”

  Judging from the way she was smiling, she approved heartily of the woman beside him.

  “I’m Katie Locke. I’m John’s fiancée.” She glanced over at him, flushing with excitement.

  They were still getting used to the official labels on the relationship, but he wasn’t worried. In the last few months, they’d grown so close she already felt like his wife. The idea both exhilarated and terrified him all at once—feelings he couldn’t get enough of.

  “I’m so pleased to meet you,” Mrs. McDonald said, enveloping Katie in a warm hug. “You can call me Gail.” She stepped into the house, motioning them to follow her. “Come on in. I’ve just finished baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies.”

  She nodded toward him and then caught Katie’s eye.

  “I don’t mean to boast, but I can tell you they happen to be this man’s favorite cookies!”

  He held his hands up. “Guilty as charged.”

  “Come with me, Katie.” She ushered Katie into the kitchen leaving him to wander into the living room.

  His heart broke again.

  Pictures of Dirk covered almost every wall and table in the house. A picture of him in his uniform hung on the wall in the foyer. His high school cap and gown sat on a table near the couch.

  Up on the mantle of the fireplace was an American flag, folded into a triangular shape and placed inside a triangular glass case. Right beside it was a photograph of Dirk and himself in desert camouflage, standing proudly together beside a Humvee, Koda between them on the hood of the vehicle.

  Hot tears burned behind his eyes. It’s not fair. It’s just not fair.

  “John, do you want—” Katie’s voice stopped short as she stepped into the room with small plates and napkins. Mrs. McDonald was right behind her, holding a large tray filled with cookies.

  He couldn’t help himself. He started to break down in huge, body-wracking sobs. He picked up the picture with Dirk and Koda and himself as everything he’d tried to suppress for the past year suddenly came bubbling to the surface.

  He couldn’t make it stop. He gasped for breath between sobs, becoming aware Mrs. McDonald stood next to him.

  “I miss him so much.” He turned his face away from the two women. The sudden surge of emotion shamed him. He should’ve reached out to her sooner. Dirk should’ve never been taken from his mother. He felt ashamed of everything.

  Mrs. McDonald set the tray on the coffee table and rested her hand on his shoulder. He turned around, bracing himself for what was to come next.

  “He misses you, too, John,” she said gently. “Dirk was always writing to me about you and the rest of the guys. You were his closest friend.”

  She picked up a photo of Dirk in his high school cap and gown, and her eyes grew bright as a wistful smile spread slowly across her face.

  “He was such a handsome boy. All the girls loved him.”

  John let out a short laugh. “Yeah. I remember.” He wiped away a tear with the back of his sleeve.

  Finally, he walked over and collapsed onto the couch, exhausted. He ran his hands over his face and tried to collect himself. Inhale. Count to five. Exhale. Count to five.

  Katie set the plates and napkins on the coffee table and sat beside him on the couch. The warmth and sensation of her body comforted him. He gave her a small smile and made himself look at Mrs. McDonald.

  “I—I’d love to try a cookie, Mama D.” He smiled tightly.

  “Of course!” She served them each a plate with three enormous chocolate chip cookies, and sat in chair across from the couch. “Oh, I should get us all big glasses of milk. You see, my cookies just don’t taste as good without—”

  “Mama D.” He cleared his throat before continuing. “I’ve been wanting to apologize to you for the longest time. I just didn’t know how.”

  She set down her small plate, her eyebrows shooting up into her hairline. “Why in the world would you want to apologize to me?”

  He tried to take a deep breath but the air just wouldn’t go in, like his lungs were surrounded by metal bands. “Because—because Dirk was sitting in the wrong spot when we were hit by the IED. I was supposed to be sitting where he was—but we switched places. If I hadn’t asked him to switch, he might be still alive. Oh, Christ, I’m just so, so sorry.” The tears built up again, pushing on his eyes.

  She held up her hand.

  “John, you have to stop right there.” Her eyes locked onto his own, her gaze intense. “You have nothing to apologize for. It wasn’t your fault this happened. No one’s to blame but those terrorists.” She smiled warmly at him. “You gave him brotherhood and the army gave him purpose.” She walked over and sat on the other side of him, gently embracing him. “Please don’t ever think I once blamed you for his death.”

  He wrapped his arms around Dirk’s mother and buried his face in her shoulder. “God, I miss him. I miss him so much.”

  On the other side of him, Katie placed a gentle hand on his arm. A rush of emotion finally freed him from the terrible burden he had carried for so long—but no longer carried alone.

  Acknowledgments

  First and foremost, thank you to my Heavenly Father for blessing me beyond all measure.

  Thank you to my family for your support and encouragement. For picking up the slack and adjusting your lives so that I could get this manuscript done. Thank you for the laughs we shared about how I was writing a romance book, yet how you pushed me to finish it. Thank you to my dogs, who are pure psychopaths with never-ending energy, and never-ending love. Thank you for showing me what “drive” really is, for demonstrating what pushing past your limits means. Would I have a nicer ho
use without chewed moldings, broken doors, and tumbleweeds of fur? Of course, but I wouldn’t have the abundant laughs and stories to share about you two.

  Thank you to Tara Gelsomino for taking the chance on this book. And to Jessica Verdi for answering all my questions as we made the final edits to get this story ready. Thank you to Jami Nord and Emmie Mears at Chimera Editing. I don’t think I would have ever gotten this book to where it needed to be without you. And Emmie, I truly appreciate all the Minnesota information you provided me. It was destined for me to find you.

  Thank you to Michael Mammy, who, two years ago, read this story to help make sure my scenes were authentic. He made me promise to keep pushing forward with this story, to not stop. And that promise pushed me, and it’s what I reminded myself of every time I was close to giving up.

  And lastly, THANK YOU with all my heart to those men and women, their families and friends, and to those four-legged soldiers who voluntarily sacrifice their lives, well-being, and time to defend this great country we live in. Your sacrifices and memories will never be forgotten.

  About the Author

  Paris Wynters is a hopeless romantic and a lover of all things coffee, canine, and exercise. When she’s not writing, she’s at the hockey rink cheering on her son, playing HALO on Xbox, or breaking a sweat at the gym.

  She lives in New York with her family and her two loveable and psychotic working dogs. Paris also runs in numerous 5k races in the New York area that raise funds to support the military/veteran community.

  Want to know Paris’s next release? Join her mailing list! Or check her out online at www.pariswynters.com.

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  First Crimson Romance ebook edition SEPTEMBER 2017.

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  ISBN 978-1-5072-0649-2 (ebook)

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, corporations, institutions, organizations, events, or locales in this novel are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, used fictitiously. The resemblance of any character to actual persons (living or dead) is entirely coincidental.

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